I haven’t actually posted anything about my art recently. ¬†I lot of random pictures…and frustration, but no art. ¬†If you actually follow this and like to hear about my art, sorry about that. ¬†But rest assured, I have been CRAZY busy with a million things… Here’s a list of some of them:

*I shot A TON of video

*I did a performance

*Turned that performance in to a video piece

*Worked on some of the photos I posted up here awhile back

*I applied for a scholarship to attend the SPE conference in Chicago in March

*I submitted my work to 3 shows

*Helped to write a proposal to get Working Method Contemporary into¬†FOUNTAIN ART FAIR/Started planning for WMC’s trip to Fountain

*Managed to fill up my entire 750 GB laptop hard drive with video files and had to panickedly run to the store to buy a 3 TB external hard drive to get the files OFF of my computer so I could use it.

*I flooded the MFA warehouse (during my panicked run to the store)

*Read books about Failure and Control and Perfection

*I nervously watched the election results

*I DIDN’T clean my house

*I cooked AMAZING butternut squash mac and cheese

*I got to be a unicorn

*Cleaned my studio

I’m sure that there was more than that, because that doesn’t seem like very much. ¬†But rest assured I did stuff, I’ve just forgotten most of it. ¬†Which reminds me… I need to send a link to this crazy shindig of a blog to my committee. ¬†HI GUYS!

My other excuse for not posting the stuff I’ve been working on recently is that it takes FOREVER to export them from Final Cut to a QuickTime file (anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 or 5 hours), and then another FOREVER to upload them from the hard drive to youtube. ¬†4,834 minutes (according to youtube) to upload a 4 minute QuickTime?! ¬†Come on now The Internet, you can do better than that. ¬†So I’m trying a different upload method this time, but the videos may not have as good of quality, sooo… Don’t judge me for that imaginary viewers. ¬†Thank the academic gods that I get to take a video editing class in the spring. ¬†I’ve never taken one before, so I will finally learn how to do things the right way, rather than the “Courtney Seat of Your Pants Special” that I’ve relied on for the past 4 or 5 years… ¬†Shhhh, don’t tell anyone I don’t know what I’m doing.

Anyway, back to making art. ¬†I’ve been trying to explore much more subtle areas in the concepts of failure and control. ¬†I think I’m starting to make progress in that direction, but it’s coming slowly. ¬†One of the things that I’ve realized about myself is that I am an incredibly literal, straightforward person. ¬†I also gravitate toward extreme opposites, hence my tendency to create work which is black and white in terms of interpretation or content (I feel like there is ¬†a photography joke in there somewhere too…). ¬†I want a clear, concise direction or outcome in which to head.¬†¬†I don’t operate well with uncertainty. ¬†¬†It’s hard to reel that part of my personality in, and to embrace those uncertainties. ¬†I’m trying though… So here is a list of some of the videos I’ve been working on (They will all eventually be links to youtube, but since it is still taking FOREVER to upload my videos and I would like to publish this post some time before the end of the world…)

High Tide Performance

Breaking the Bend/Bending to Break

Bleed 2

Bleed 3

Bleed 4

Fairy Tale Logic

High Tide was a performance I did a few weeks ago on St. George Island, a state park about 2 1/2 hours west of here. ¬†What you see in the clip is about 4 minutes of an hour long performance where I laid perpendicular to the tide as it came in (at high tide). ¬†It was sort of a last minute kind of thing. ¬†I just got this idea of laying in the tide as it came up, and I went and did it. ¬†I’m not 100% sure what my intent was for the performance, certainly something about control, but I couldn’t say specifically. ¬†For me, there is something there about the necessity to accept the fact that there are some things that you cannot control. ¬†Going into it, I really had no notion of what would happen, except that I might get covered in the sand that the tide carried in over me. ¬†I had NO idea that the tide would eventually take me, swing me around, and push me down the shore. ¬†I had no control, except to roll myself back over after the water flipped me. ¬†I wasn’t smart enough to think of wearing ear or nose plugs so there are the involuntary jerks of my body trying to resist ¬†the water, and I’m kind of torn as to wether I like these or not. ¬†I think I may have to sit with this piece for a while longer before I can make that call..

Bending the Break/Breaking to Bend, was an extension of¬†High Tide in some ways. ¬†The same day I did High Tide, I also shot some footage of me trying to fight, or stand up to the waves which would frequently knock me down. ¬†Pairing those two shots together seemed to get closer to some of the ideas I’m trying to work on in terms of control and quite, subtle failure. ¬†Again, I’m not sure I’m completely happy with it… I feel like it might need something else, or just some closer shots. ¬†Everything seems so far off right now. ¬†I’ve also had it suggested that I need to rethink what I’m wearing. ¬†Which, me being me, I never even considered wearing anything but a bathing suit. ¬†My thought process went something like this: ¬†“I’m going to the beach. ¬†I am going to the beach to shoot a performance. ¬†I am shooting a performance in which I will be in the sand and water. ¬†I will wear a bathing suit, because that is what you wear at the beach.” ¬†End of story, no further consideration. ¬†See what I mean about being painfully literal and straightforward?

Clearly the Bleed videos are influenced by my experience with the ruined notebooks. ¬†I’m playing around with the water and how many pages and stuff like that, but ehhhhh… I don’t know…¬†¬†I think I’m much more attracted to the artifacts created in the process of shooting the video than the video itself. ¬†I think this might be the case too with the photographs of my ruined notebooks I’ve been playing around with. ¬†Here are some quick snaps of the objects themselves…

See! ¬†They are so much more appealing. ¬†I don’t know what to do. ¬†I think it would be a little extreme to continue flooding things just so that I could take pictures of the things that were water damaged. ¬†Also, living in Florida, I feel like that could be misconstrued or some what insensitive, what with all the hurricanes and flooding that happen down here routinely. ¬†On a semi related note, is there a water equivalent to pyromania? ¬†Because I think I might have that…

Fairy Tale Logic is my rework of …lies expectations…¬†the performance I did back in September. ¬†What you’re watching is sort of a mash up of how I envision it being displayed. ¬†Ideally, I’d like it as two separate projections or screens, each playing one side of the “conversation.” ¬†Obviously I don’t have this luxury on youtube, so you get a bastardized version of it.

The entire time I was working on this, I went back and forth on how I feel about it. ¬†I spent the better part of two weeks reshooting this and another week editing, so I’ve spent a lot of good old quality time with this video. ¬†I’m concerned that it feels to forced and stiff, where as the performance itself was much more organic and unscripted. ¬†I do like it better that it’s just me in a room by myself, but in doing that I feel like I lost some thing… ¬†It also seems some how more insincere. ¬†Maybe I just need to not look at it for a few weeks and then re-watch it, because at this point I know the damn thing back and forth.

That’s pretty much the wrap up. ¬†I have some other things I’ve been working on, like those photographs of the ruined notebooks and the liquid light tests. ¬†Buuuut, neither of those are in any state to be documented or shared… ¬†I’m a little lost with those two. ¬†I would like to say “We’ll, you can’t win them all” to myself, but that feels like a cop out and that makes me feel lazy. ¬†SO instead, I will just say that I will win them all, it just might take me awhile… ¬†Just remember…

More another day… And check back, I’ll have links up to all of the videos as soon as I can finish getting them uploaded.